Recovery indicates loss. Beyond the physical, mental and emotional health, traumatic brain injury survivors may loose their income, independence, security, self esteem and much more. It may take years if not decades to regain what has been lost. Some things may never be recovered.
When I regained my memory in the hospital rehabilitation center, I assumed I would be rehabilitated to my previous health before the injury. That didn’t happen. For several years I thought my health would come back naturally with exercise, it didn’t. However, if I continue working I will become better despite what others say about having a limited time for recovery. The bottom line: I need to work for my health or I won’t heal.
When I regained my memory in the Hospital Rehabilitation Center, I assumed I would be restored to my health before the injury. That didn’t happen.
I then spent six months working with physical, occupational and speech therapists at Outpatient Rehabilitation. I was still optimistic that I could return to my previous health in a few years, so I kept the illustrated exercise instructions to do at home. Finally, I understood that my injury would take a long time to heal as the doctors said when I began to exercise at the community college for the next 2½ years.
I still thought my health would come back naturally if I made the effort to improve, but the progress was small and slow, I saw little change. The bottom line is that I needed to work for my health or I wouldn’t heal.
I was looking for a way to measure my improvement compared to the expected recovery of a TBI and learned that there is nothing to compare my progress to but myself. Since my judgement is poor and I can’t measure my improvement over time, I just made an effort to heal and worked hard, I did what I could. After many years, I still want to be healthy and active again, but I realize I may never achieve this.
I learned that my recovery from a TBI is not only long term, it’s never ending.
I learned several things from the exercise class and volunteering my therapists advised me to do.
If I get out of the house and be active, I wouldn’t worry about my difficulties.
If I was active, I would improve my strength and endurance.
I learned it was healthy for me to be surrounded by people who would talk about everyday events, even if I couldn’t take part in them.
I would listen, remain silent and do my work. I thought of myself as being in a bubble, where I could see what was happening around me, but people see me. I didn’t need to talk, which would have been a distraction, causing me to become confused at what I was doing. During these times I would pretend I was healthy, until I returned home and could relax, not worry if I stumbled or bumped against the wall.
I learned that anything I did would be an improvement, so I could do more. Doing one more repetition of an exercise, reading one more page of a book, remaining in a noisy crowd for a few minutes longer.
It’s important to give myself credit for making the effort, even if I didn’t reach my goals.
For me, consistency is more important then the amount done. I believe spending 2½ years at the community college gym was helpful, not only for the exercise, but for creating a daily routine and being around people, this is why I still volunteer, I also feel appreciated for the work I do.
My recovery comes in small amounts very slowly and I always run into my limitations. It’s important to make my exercises manageable yet challenging. There are days when I’m sore, when I’m tired, when I have other things I need to do. These days break my routine and it’s difficult to return to the routine, then there are times when I’m focused on my exercises and I want to do nothing else.