Starting Over

After spending seven weeks in the hospital, losing my memory for three weeks, connected to a ventilator, having a tracheotomy breathing tube, and feeding tube inserted, I’m fortunate to be alive and lucky to have my cognitive abilities.

Obviously I’m not starting over. I didn’t have a brain injury as a child learning to read, write, or play. I do experience similarities between my childhood memories and recovering from a brain injury. I struggle everyday with activities that adults have outgrown and take for granted such as fatigue, walking, and concentration. I lost my skills I acquired as an adult and my ability to work.

I feel like a child in the woods, or lost in a fog. I don’t know what’s ahead of me, I don’t know where to go, and I don’t know where I am. I rely 0n the therapists to lead me through the woods.

The fact that I have no memory of the accident is a blessing. I can’t justify not returning to my previous health when I was hiking and riding my bicycle along country roads.

I can’t use the accident as an excuse for not becoming well. I can’t say “I’ve had an accident, I don’t expect myself to walk, speak, and concentrate well.” or “I’m tired, I’ve worked hard and long enough, I don’t need to exercise more.” Since I have no memory of the accident I expect to be in the same health I was before the accident.